Thursday, July 12, 2012
Yogurt Is Kitty Crack
My cat is probably the least affectionate cat on the planet, if you pick her up, or try to pet her she acts like you have the plague, or that you smell worse than the 99th level of the abyss. The only time she acts all, "Hi, I love you and my only purpose in life is to rub up against you and worship you with my tongue," is when she is hungry, OR, when you flip open a container of yogurt. Yogurt takes her to levels of affection which afterwards I am sure she has to spend days of self-flagellation to cleanse her mind and body from. She loves the white creamy stuff so much that she could be curled into a ball in some basement hidey hole, and sleeping so deep that it would take a medical scanner from the 25th century to detect any signs of life, but the second the first molecule of scent hits the air her entire body goes into super high alert and she becomes this focussed, completely vigilant entity whose only purpose in life is to seek out and consume the manna from the gods. Immediately after finishing her godsend she slinks away in self-loathing and performs her physical shame exercises out of sight.