Thursday, May 31, 2012


Yup ouch is the word for it.  When I woke up yesterday I was all "Ouch.  Fuck, that hurts."  My knee was sore, my hip was sore, my legs were sore.  All three sets of glutes on my ass were sore.  So what did I do?  I decided to go for another run.  Oh yeah, I am SMRT, smart.  Because it was ouch some more.  When I first started I could feel all kinds of aches.  Not a big surprise, I used to feel like that even when I was running on a regular basis, that is just par for the course.  But usually when you run for a while things start to just kinda go away in the pain department and then you can concentrate on the other business, not dying because you are trying to suck in enough oxygen.  Well that didn't exactly happen.  a) My legs were saying, "Dude?  Hey dude, WTF are you doing?"  and, b) I didn't have to worry about sucking in oxygen because I wasn't running fast enough, or I practically live on sea level here and oxygen seems to be plentiful, not like when you live on top of a mountain.  And (this is the really smart part) I added another k to my distance.  Einstein I'm not.  Later on, after I had arrived home and hobbled around the house, I ended up wrapping my knee in ice because it had ballooned up to twice its normal size. 

This morning I woke up with a seriously sore ass, knee, and pretty much all the muscle groups holding my legs together.  I expected nothing less.  My knee is back to its regular size though.  I good sign.  My Achilles hates me.  And what else is new?  My Achilles always hates me.   But all in all things just seem to be about what a person who hasn't done any actual physical exercise in years should feel like.  What is that military acronym?  SNAFU.

I think I will take today off of running.  Let me rephrase that, I know I will take today off from running, my body would shut me down if I didn't.  Maybe I won't run tomorrow either, but definitely I will be doing this again soon.  Even though I was all, this sucks hugely, it just kinda feels right somehow.  Call me crazy but I think my brain (and body) have been seriously missing this torture.

Oh and I did a quick check on Run Nova Scotia, there are all kinds of races planned for this year.  There are lobster runs, how cool would that be?  Beat the tide on Fundy runs, man that sounds fun.  And sailing runs, history runs, and run/walk runs...sounds like my kind of run.  I see a few race tshirts in my future!


Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Pitter Patter

What is that sound?  The sound of pitter-patter?  No it isn't small feet running amok (well maybe it is seeing as the cat is all rammy this morning) this time it is the sound of rain pittering and pattering on the roof.  It is slightly less cold today then yesterday, but it is still cold enough to have a fire going.  I kept the fireplace stoked yesterday because it was kinda-sorta chilly in here all day.  The good news is that I did manage to go out for a run yesterday.  Wow!  It has been forever since I actually did that, and to tell the truth even though I was, a) running slow enough for a fast glacier to catch up and pass me, and, b) feeling like someone had dumped two bags of cement into my legs, it felt not too bad.  This morning I have a sore hip (probably not from the run), a stiff knee (for sure from the run), and sore heels (that just goes without saying).  Actually when I take stock of myself I didn't come out of the experience as bad as I thought I would.  Of course I only actually ran 2 1/2 k so it isn't exactly something to write home about. 

I got up last night for one of my nightly sojourns to the bathroom when I saw a flicker of light outside.  In my somewhat sleep addled brain I wondered who in the hell was outside at this time of night.  By the time I finished in the bathroom the flickering finally registered, lightning.  That made me wander around the house unplugging most of the electronic equipment which usually comes out on the shit end of the stick during these storms, and by the time I crawled back into bed it was booming and crashing.  I do have surge protectors on sensitive stuff but I don't have 100% confidence in the things.  Sometimes having to get up to pee can be worth it.  I went back to sleep with a slightly comforted feeling. 

Well if the weather is still conducive to running after I am done painting I think I may actually go for another jaunt out to the bridge again.  If I keep this up I might actually look for a five k race I can enter this summer.  How sick is that?  One run and I am already thinking about entering a race.  My brain must be hardwired into those kinds of thoughts after all the years of running I've done.  Hmm, but I am running low on clothing so a new racing shirt would come in handy too...

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Brrrrr....Cold Day In Hell

Ha, I lied, it isn't a cold day in hell it is a cold day on Kitpu Estates!  Which when you think about it isn't hell, in fact, it is the complete opposite of hell.  Un-Hell, or anti-hell if you will.  I can't very well call it heaven because here at the estates we have neither stripper factories, or beer volcanoes.  May His great Noodliness keep warm and saucy forever and ever. 

It is actually in the single digits temperature wise today.  Yeah...I can't believe it myself.  WTF?  The good thing about it, if there can ever be a good thing about getting so cold after experiencing fun warm days, is that it will keep the bugs down.  I hope.  I am also contemplating riding out to the highway and back again today and thinking that the temperatures will also be good for that.  Less sweating involved.  Shit...just realized something, I have to take the dog for a walk.  Damn.  I have to start getting her used to running after the bike.  Hmmmm...running?  Maybe I should go for a run today?  I think I just may do that.  I love running in temperatures like this. 

On a side note, I just had another job interview this afternoon...I sounded like a complete moron during the interview, it was over the phone.  I always suck at phone interviews.  Damn!  It was for a part time job close-ish to home.  I'd wear a uniform so no need to do anything with my wardrobe (like actually have one without paint stains on it.)  Well here's hoping that the woman didn't hear how lame I really sounded.  I'm hoping that the fact that we both have the same name might go good for me.  It's not too often I run into someone else with the same name so I am betting she doesn't either. 

So on a different note here are pictures of local fleurs -

Monday, May 28, 2012

The Most Important Information You Will Ever Get

As I was huffing and puffing, and trying to push my rather large ass up a hill this afternoon a funny thought just jumped into my brain and settled in for a long stay which is why I am writing about it now.  And because I am sitting behind my computer screen, and not on my bike, I no longer sound like a porn star having an asthma attack.  So the thought was about the most important thing in the world.  Well not exactly the most important thing in your world, and for that matter probably not exactly the most important thing in my world either. 

Where was I? 

Oh yeah, my thought...  What I realized as I was sweating the oldie up and down the hills is that when I sit down to write on this here blog thingie I don't spend any time whatsoever trying to organize my thoughts.  In fact typically when I sit down I just sort of free write and allow whatever ideas happen to be lurking in my fingers to just get click-clacked from the keys to the screen.  There is no rhyme or reason to any of the shit that I write here.  In fact, what I realized while I was trying to pretend that my knee was not actually going to blow out, was that when I write on this blog, on my writing practice, or even just emailing long lost friends I have no sense priority to my ramblings. For that matter I barely have a sense of reality.

For example - today I could have been visited by aliens who have traveled many light years looking for worlds to lift up out of barbarism, to impart their wisdom on those less fortunate, and to show everyone how to make the best cup of coffee ever invented.  They may have spent several hours downloading information directly into my brain about how to fix the global warming problem, how to cure cancer, how to ensure that everyone on the planet can have the best medical care, and have enough to eat every single day, and most importantly how to get rid of the Kardashians.  I will be grateful, and thankful, and honoured, and awestruck.  It could easily be the most important, exciting day of my life, and when I sit down to write on my blog what will I write about?  Lets see, probably how many ticks we've picked off the dog to date, or whether or not the rose bush in the back has survived me hacking it up with my cutter thingie, or even how many loads of laundry I managed to get done.  Its not that I want to do that, or even think its a great idea, its just that my brain has no particular control over my fingers. 

If anyone actually reads this blog on a regular basis they may actually think that I am highlighting the events of the day or even the week here.  That would be cracker jack box wrong.  It isn't because I deliberately set out to mislead my reading public with half truths or cover ups.  It isn't because I am trying to make my life seem so much more sophisticated and intellectual then it actually is.  (Yeah that's right, Kitpu Estates, is the heart of the Intelligentsia of North America.)  What it is, is the sign of a mind which has gone from OCD organized to one which occasionally puts her panties on over her pants. 

I thought I should let everyone know that having gotten to this realization through an epiphany, or Eureka moment isn't going to change anything.  I'm pretty sure I'm just going to continue writing random shit about random mundane or fantasy crap whenever I want to.  So when I invent that magnificent, jaw dropping, awe inspiring, news worthy porpoise communicator and am being interviewed by all the big news channels of the world I will probably write about how I don't like the smell of the soap they have in hotel bathrooms.  Blame it on the digits.

Sunday, May 27, 2012


Lately I've noticed that my tastes in viewing entertainment is a lot less tolerant than it has been in the past.  Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that I no longer have instant access to everything TV-like, or perhaps it has to do with the fact that as I get older my tastes are changing and most of the crap they have on these days is moronic.  Or maybe as my mother always says, I am just too fussy.  At any rate as I wait for the latest installment of The Game of Thrones, and The Big Bang Theory there is nothing out there which piques my interest.  Well there might be but because I don't have cable or satellite I don't know about it. 

The hubby and I have started a habit where after the days work is over, and before the eyeballs actually close, we have been watching a show or a movie in the evening.  We are now at the point where we have seen most of the movies we own at least three times in the last year, and all the shows we watch are either finished or on hiatus for the summer.  So we have been watching a lot of Craig Ferguson on You Tube, which is pretty entertaining, but for some reason our Internet keeps doing the "Time Out" thing a lot, so we watch for a minute then wait for fifteen seconds, then watch for fifteen seconds, and wait for a minute.  It sucks!  Now anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge Star Trek fan, so I thought that would be a good place to get some viewing entertainment.  I've watched the original series episodes so many times that some of them I can probably tell you verbatim, so I didn't bother with that one.  Then I ran across a clip from The Next Generation which looked really good, so I thought Eureka. 
So last night we watched the first few episodes of TNG, and boy oh boy, oh boy, did it ever suck.  I remember when it first came out that I wasn't into it too much, so I didn't really see too many of the first season.  Now I know why.  These episodes suck the big royal purple fig newton.  I sure hope they get better soon. 

Which means that I am now looking for suggestions on another series that isn't half bad.  I know it will be tough because I am not interested in anything with vampires, detectives, lawyers, doctors, firemen, motorcycle gangs, mafia, soldiers and war, or house wives that spend all their time being horny.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Moist, Misty, and Damp

I woke to cool air, a misty light rain, and clouds.  The radio called for worse weather all day and thunder showers this evening.  Surprise, surprise, surprise...they were wrong...again.  The day progressively got better not worse.  Although the air did stay rather dampish all day.  And now, as I sit here, it is evening and the skies are blue with nary a rain drop to be found.  That is twice in one week where they were predicting dire warnings which did not come to fruition.  Ah to have a job like that.  No matter what you say, right or wrong, you get to keep your job and people continue to tune in to listen to what you have to say. 

I jumped on the bike earlier in the day, wishing to avoid the above forecasted weather, and went for a ride.  I think I put on around twenty k total, I figured that would be enough because I am just starting to ride again and do not want to cause myself unwanted pain in my sit down area.  I then took the hell hound out for a walk to the back forty and was oh so grateful for my Blue Nose Burka.  Warm and Damp = Mosquitoes the size of cats.  Ho boy.  They were actually chewing on me through my clothes.  So I skedaddled as fast as my feet could go.  Well okay not quite that fast, but I did walk quickly to get out of the swamp area and back to where it was a little more clear.  Here at the Old Shoes and Tea Society we have a saying.  "When the mosquitoes get tough, run screaming out of the bush before they take you to their nest as a snack for the kiddies." 

Yesterday I went in for my "short listed, second interview" for a job I applied for as a lark.  Things seemed to go well and of course now I am worried that they might offer me the job.  How sick is that?  It is a full time affair and I'm not sure if I really want to do that.  It is also one of those things that I know how to do really, really well.  I'm not sure if I want to do that either.  I may actually take the position if they offer it to me.  Yes I know, I am crazy.  But one of the things I have learned from being here is that things are not as they seem, so I might be pondering things which may not come to pass. 

This evening I put the second coat of paint on the new bedroom door and was greatly helped by the cat.  She loves to paint.  My pets are so helpful.  I can't tell you how that makes me feel...kinda misty eyed. 

Friday, May 25, 2012

Happy Towel Day

As I sit here wrapped in my towel I am contemplating a world without Douglas Adams and am sad.  Douglas is a permanent honorary member of the Old Shoes and Tea Society, and has a special place in my heart.  His mind was a place of wonder which to this day I never tire of exploring.  I love his depressed yet brilliant robot, the white mice, Magrathea, Vogon poetry, Dirk Gently, the Monk, and so, so much more. 

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Morning Has Broken

I thought I would sit down and whip off a quick blog entry before I got too into the daily chores, or somehow got sucked into playing angry birds, in which case the day will be shot.  Ha!  Fooled you, because that isn't going to happen, as I happen to have that addiction under control now.  I played a bit last night and came away a very unsatisfied customer, meaning that I was frustrated, and I do not react well to frustration.  My brain has this way of being able to shrug and walk away when I get like that.  Turns out that is why I wouldn't make a good gambler either.  But I digress.

So the weather people are predicting thunder storms today and tomorrow, which means that I will be turning off, and unplugging this here contraption, as well as most other electronic contraptions in Kitpu Estates.  See the thunder boomers are pretty severe here and I don't especially want to have my electronics fried because I cannot afford to randomly be replacing them whenever Thor gets pissy.  Which means that I will take advantage of the "clear" time of day and get my writing and blogging out of the way. 

Yesterday it started to drizzle, which means that it got a little damp, which means that the ticks became all lively again, which means that we ended up picking another 17 off the dog in one shot.  I think we are at 211 for her now give or take a couple.  The funny thing was that when we went into the bank and were dealing with yet another round of signing our lives away the hubby found a tick crawling up under his shirt and had to strip down to get the bugger.  Yes we are a classy bunch.  Our bankster just laughed and regaled us with his own tick stories of yore.  That was one great thing about living in the Misty Mountains, no ticks, no black flies, no mosquitoes, in fact the insect population was very tame.  The large carnivorous meat eating fauna on the other hand were a bit more populace, but a body usually ended up being able to avoid them most days. 

Speaking of fauna, I thought I would put a couple pictures of local flora and such, just as a way to keep this entry from being too black and white.  This is a picture of my new rhododendron which my neighbour was kind enough to get for me.  She knew I wanted one last year but was not about to pay $40 for.  Her hubby works at the place she bought it and it was a) on sale, and b) she got a discount on top of it.  When I planted it I did not think that it would flower this year but it is almost all flower now.  I love it. 

This here picture is of the steps going down to the lake, don't ask me why I figured to put it in here, I just did.  When the water goes down we have a bit of a beach along the front and last year we would pick rocks every time we went swimming just so we had more sand than rock to walk around on. Eventually we will be building a dock out on the other side of where the boat is parked right now. We also want to build a small "gas shack" just up on the rocks so that our kayaks will have somewhere to live (underneath) and the gas tank and other easily portable items will have a more secure place to dwell when not being used.  Not that we have ever had any indication of a large thieving population visiting this locale. 

Monday, May 21, 2012

Apologies All Around

I have to apologize to the Internet and all that entails for my lack of participation.  You see I was a little busy with the painting, but not as much as usual.  I was a little busy with guests, but not enough to count.  I was busy sweeping, but hey, when am I not?  I was busy doing yard work, but hardly able to consider it work.  I was a little busy with my walks, and bike rides, but nothing to write home about.  However...I have become a little mesmerized by some angry birds.  First off, it is all my daughter's fault.  Had it not been for her and her outside influences I would have never considered playing such a silly game.  And second, who can resist birds when they say, "ow, ow,"? 

Typically I am not a big gamer because I actually don't have the patience for that kind of stuff, but honestly I cannot resist birds that blow up.  I don't know why, but it is much fun.  Then just as I was going to give it all up I found out that when you click after letting the birds go well other stuff can happen like laying eggs that blow shit up, splitting into three, and chewing through wood really fast.  So it set me off on another round.  I'm a little slow, and obviously haven't spent any time looking information up about them so had to discover these traits after a couple of weeks of on again, off again play.  The good thing is that I am finally getting to the point where it is getting too frustrating again so I might really quit this time.  Really...I will.  Just watch me.  But not until tomorrow because I want to give a few more levels another try.  Then I can quit...anytime I want to. 

Today, when I wasn't blowing up birds, the hubby and I went for a walk out to the back forty and ran into a couple of ladies planting some flowers near the memorial site.  I received a hug and a kiss for my efforts at planting a rose bush and building a small set of stairs in the side of the hill down to the site.  It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  I would have gotten all teary eyed and everything but almost immediately afterward the mosquitoes found us and pretty much picked me up and carried me out of the bush.  They were so nasty that they were actually biting me through my clothes.  The only thing that actually saved me was the fact that I was wearing my East Coast Burka.  Here at the Old Shoes and Tea Society we have a saying.  "When the mosquitoes get bitey run like hell for your life or you will be scratching and itching for weeks to come." 

Here in Canada this weekend was what we refer to as May Long, or the May long weekend, it is a celebration of Queen Victoria's birthday.  When I was working in the pits of hell it was a lovely, lovely weekend, even if it snowed.  However this weekend it did not snow, it was warm, sunny, and just simply stunning.  The greens were green, and crisp, and greeny green, like a green thing but exponentially more green then that.  The smell coming off that lake brought back the best of my memories of being out on the lake when I was a kid.  It was an amazing three an amazing three days as it isn't quite over yet.  The only real downer was the fact that someone had a little too much grog celebrating the queen's B-day and decided that smashing mailboxes would be a great fun thing to do.  For some reason the mailbox gods smiled upon ours and it went unscathed, but the neighbour's was smashed to hell.  And as of five minutes ago the official count for the hellhound is 194 wood ticks.  Now that is creepy, crawly, and yucky.  But the good thing is that we are only taking ticks off her in the threes and fours, as apposed to double digits.  So along with wanting black fly season over with I am also wanting tick season to be over.  Shocking but true.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Sweeping, sweeping, and more sweeping!

As anyone who has read this blog knows I have one cat, and one dog, not two, not a hundred, not a thousand, so why is it then that I can sweep the floor fifteen times a day and still get at least one bucket of hair on every single pass?  Do these two manufacture that much?  Or another plausible explanation is that Kitpu Estates have been infested with the evil Hair Fairies of Qranth, who spend all their waking hours making hair and spreading it around the house.  And...when I say waking hours, they don't ever sleep.  I can just see them now they are like a cross between Gremlins and Gollum, but not obsessed with rings or eating human flesh, only making hair, and fur, and skipping along with their baskets full of the stuff and spreading it everywhere while singing the theme song from the Love Boat.  Okay that is my rant for the day. 

I lied, I have another rant.  As of this morning we have picked 165 wood ticks off the dog.  And when I say we, I mean the hubby.  I've probably taken perhaps twenty off her the rest has been yanked by my dearest man.  I'm hoping that this year tick season will be over sooner than later.  They are yucky.  And when I say yucky I mean gross...and yucky.  Normally I am all about leaving nature as natural as possible, but at this point I would gladly buy any kind of Mega Tick Kill-O-Matic Spray and douse down the back fields with the long grasses where the little bastards are lounging around waiting for a nice little doggy to snack on.  I wonder if I should have double inoculated the dog this year? 

In order to make this blog more happy, happy, and cute, cute I thought in keeping with the core principles of the Old Shoes and Tea Society, "We might be gross, but we are cute." I would put a picture I snapped on my walk yesterday. 

Okay, now I have to go finish painting a door, oh and sweeping the floor. 

Monday, May 14, 2012

Chewed Alive!

I went for a walk today and all was warm, sunny, and breezy.  It was very nice.  The dog loved it because her most favourite thing in the world to do is get wet, which she did a LOT of.  I don't believe that she missed a stream, puddle, swamp, river, or lake on our walk.  She splished, splashed, and splooshed.  She even helped me while I was watering my newly planted rhododendron, so I hosed her down, and then I hosed her down, and then I hosed her down.  Rinse, lather, repeat.  To say she loved it is the understatement of the century.  I should have called her Flipper. 

I was puttering around after my walk, digging the grass up and away from a couple of fruit trees, replanting some flowers which will be in the way when we upgrade the electrical coming into the house. Well "we" actually won't be doing the electrical, more like the electrician will be doing the actual work, thank the FSM.  Anyway these plants are in the way so they probably won't make it once the work commences so I'm starting to move them.  I would have moved all of them this evening except that suddenly the wind died down and I was practically carried off by the minions of Satan disguised as flies that are black.  The worst part is that the bastards want to drive you insane before gorging on your flesh.  They buzz around you head bouncing off your face, crawling up your nose, in your eyes, in your ears, and through your hair.  Then when they do land and manage to chomp a chunk of meat from your quivering flesh, they spit into the hole which causes you to grow enormous welts and itch like crazy. 

There are no words to describe exactly how much I hate them.  Most especially because now that it is warm enough to actually wear shorts and a tee outside I can't.  Well I could if I didn't mind looking like something that escaped from Zombieville. 

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mothers Day Walk

This morning began warm, bright, and sunny.  The hubby and hell hound were already gone fishing by the time I got out of bed, the coffee was on, there was a nice little fire going in the fireplace, and the place felt just comfy cozy.  I poured myself a cup of coffee then sat back and cracked my latest book, perhaps two seconds into the book I decided that it was a beautiful morning to go for a walk.  I decided to take my camera so that my mom could come for the walk with me.  Unfortunately the camera isn't the smell-o-vision kind so you will miss out on how sweet and great the bush smells now that spring is really upon us. 

This first picture is of a road which leads to an area where they are clear cutting, this road is usually has the kind of mud on it which sticks to the feet like snot which you can move around but cannot dislodge no matter what you do, but today it was dry enough to walk on.  It held the prints of deer, fox, raccoons, coyotes, and porcupines. 

Just coming back to my own road. 

Approaching Kitpu Estates. 

This tree was just coming into bloom.  I have no idea what kind it is but I thought it was a nice indication of spring. 

Here is my birch grove project.  I've been getting rid of all the alders and leaving the red birch.  The apple tree is starting to break into bloom as well. 

Which way should I go?

This guy seemed to be pretty annoyed that I was messing with his wah. 

This is the beginning of the "new" road which we have been working when we have a little bit of time. 

This tree is kind of cool.  I liked the way it looks in the pine tree grove. 

You can see how low the water is now, still quite a way to go to get to the level it normally is during the year. 

And finally, because this blog doesn't want to take too many more pictures, here is a picture of some of the tulips that my neighbour gave me this morning.  You can't tell from this picture but the colours outside were amazing.  Most especially the pinks, and the most miraculous thing of all was that the deer didn't eat them all. 

Cats are Strange

My cat is weird.  Well weird from the point of view of a person who isn't used to be around cats.  So perhaps mine isn't weird, perhaps it is just that I have a misconception about cats.  For example my cat likes to eat olives, tomatoes, and watermelon.  Don't believe me.  Here is proof. 

Friday, May 11, 2012


It is Friday isn't it?  When a body is living out in the bush and doesn't have regular TV there is pretty much zero incentive to keep track of the days.  Most of the time I'm lucky if I remember what month it is.  Recently I had a couple of run-ins with the WORK word and I could feel my mind clicking over to the "being part of the world" mode, and it was scary.  Not scary in the way that I am now afraid of being around people scary, but scary in the way that when I start thinking about working outside the house I get all regimented.  My thoughts almost instantaneously went from, "what should I do today?", to, "today I have to get this done, then that, then that, and I have to hurry because I won't be around for long stretches of time."  Now that is scary. 

Luckily things didn't pan out and I was able to think things through, thanks to a bit of a reality check from my littlest brother, so I opted to take the summer off of job hunting and then maybe give it another crack in the fall.  This way I might be able to dedicate some of my time to writing, which was one of the major reasons for this move in the first place, and perhaps a little time to some art.  Although the art thing might be a tad bit difficult as I have no place to create art until my studio is finished.  Then suddenly I get a phone call last night from a place I had applied to a few weeks back and they want to interview me.  I hadn't really seriously thought they would take me up on my offer, most especially because I had sent them my real resume, not the dumbed down versions I've been getting hits on.  Unfortunately this is potentially a "real job" which means that I may actually consider taking it if offered to me.  I know...I'm a sucker for punishment.  But real job means real money, which means that the Wookie Cave gets finished a lot quicker than anticipated, the deck gets finished, the boat house gets built, and a few other "nice to haves" may get bought.  A dilemma for sure.  Well lucky for me there are quite a few issues not in my favour for this one so I may not have to actually make any kind of decision on it. 

I just feel like I'm blathering away about crap these last couple of days so I think I'm going to stop. 

In the meantime please enjoy some useful phrases  for the workplace:

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. Thank you.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me

You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Rainy But Still Okay

Today found me in the mood to finish the basement a project which I had started last week.  When I was about half way through I lost any ambition I had and then wandered away looking for cake.  Or at least that is what I would have done had I had any cake to wander after.  So the partially completed project had sat there all week calling my name.  So the old adage out of sight, out of mind is total bunk to Ms. OCD Girl.

Canadian Tire and Zellers had a sale on those plastic storage containers last month so I had a few of them sitting there just waiting to be filled.  So this morning while the hubby was busy hanging another door I went downstairs and cleaned up the old mess, and the new mess I had made while trying to clean the old stuff. 

I actually came out a little richer than I had gone in.  While I was transferring my art supplies, writing materials, and other miscellaneous things from broken, crappy boxes, to new spiffy plastic containers I found a $50 dollar Home Depot gift card still in a birthday card.  It was a present to the hubby from his darlin daughter for his fiftieth birthday.  Let me see, that was five years ago!  I wonder if he gets interest on it?  Ha! 

During the Old Shoes and Tea Society meeting today the hubby pulled two ticks off the dog's ear.  If anyone is keeping track, and I am, that makes 100 exactly.  I can hardly wait until tick season is over.  I hate ticks.  I also hate black flies and we are just coming into that season now.  Did I mention that I hate black flies? 

I took the dog for a walk this afternoon and we immediately ran into a porcupine, luckily she came back as soon as I called her off (the dog not the porky), so we didn't have another joy-joy time of pulling quills from the snout of ole Bessy.  If anyone had been watching me during the walk today they probably would have thought that I had completely lost my mind.  Losing my mind happens to be a regular occurrence for me, but I digress.  Today I was using the, if the dog runs in front of you, you immediately turn in the other direction and keep walking until she runs by you again then you turn around and walk the other way, method of training.  So I may have only actually covered 6km in distance, but I probably walked around 10km.  So this is how my walk went.  Two steps, turn, two steps, turn, three steps, turn, four steps turn, four steps, turn...etc.  The good thing is that she actually started to figure it out, by the end she was following me for at least 1/4 km before I had to turn.  We both came back soaked because of the liquid sky falling on our heads. 

The new doors look pretty spiffy.  They will look even spiffier when I apply some paint to them.  These finishing touches are soooooo exciting.  Only four million more to go. 

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Fundamentalist Pastafarian

When people ask me what my religious affiliations are I always tell them that I am a Pastarfarian.  As a Pastafarian I believe that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the midget, the mountain, and the tree.  I also believe that global warming is caused by the reduction in number of pirates, who are the chosen people of the FSM, His great Noodliness.  People usually laugh and think that either I am being funny or that I was dropped on my head as a child.  But for those of you who are doubting Thomas's here is the link to the site of the One True Church .  The founder, and profit, is none other than Bobby Henderson, may he always be touched by His Noodly Appendages. 
My religion believes that the holy days are celebrated every Friday.   It also celebrates Halloween as the most holy of all holy days where the Pastafarians dress up like pirates and give away candy to children.  Or maybe they eat the candy and give away the children?  It is also a great day to drink the grog?  Anyway you look at it, it is a holy, holy day.  The great thing about the Pastafarian religion is that it is almost dogmatic about not having any dogma.  Heaven consists of beer volcanoes and stripper factories.  There are some great swear words in the gospel.  Grog is the beverage of choice.  Anyone can join, anyone can quit, and anyone can be touched by the FSM's warm noodley appendages.  No money ever changes hands, unless you want to buy the TShirt, or donate to the fund to build the pirate ship.  International Talk Like A Pirate Day is a kick ass day matey.  Sometimes the FSM overindulges in the grog and strange things happen, check out the Earth he created it when he was a little hung over.  No need to say anything else about that.  He also didn't give us ten commandments just seven "I really rather you didn'ts" but basically he just wants you to be nice to everyone. 
People say, "ha-ha, you are crazy, that religion sounds a little far fetched."  Well I challenge anyone to check out the other religions in the world and see if they aren't crazy and far fetched as well.  Here are a few examples of what other religions may do, or believe:

1) wear magic underwear
2) cover themselves from head to toe in black sacks
3) believe that their deity is a zombie
4) believe that their deity has multiple personality disorder
5) believe that it is okay to kill anyone who doesn't believe the same stuff as they do
6) think that animals were put on earth for man to do whatever they want with them
7) buy new running shoes and commit suicide
8) want the world to end so they can go to heaven and enjoy the fact that non believers will suffer eternal torture
9) need to marry a bunch of underage children and have sex with them
10) baptize dead people
11) baptize babies
12) believe that Thetans are hanging out in your head causing all your problems
13) give money to TV preachers who tell them that they were talking to god yesterday and god was pretty adamant that everyone give them money otherwise god will be taking them home then turn around and spend it on mansions, private jets, and hookers
14) Xenu is a bad alien dude who used planet earth as his very own concentration camp and his final solution was a lot worse than Hitler's
15) think its okay to stone a woman to death for adultery even if she was raped
16) prophets can fly to heaven on a human faced horse
10) think that god helped them pass the test, get the touch down, saved their house, healed their grandmother, killed their grandmother, burnt down their house, caused them to fail the test as a test of faith, catch the ball, miss the ball during the final seconds of the game, found Snoopy, got Snoopy run over, told them to love thy neighbour but will be on their side when they go to war, and if they don't win the war it's because the world is evil and the gays are responsible, doesn't want them to use medicine, wants them to use medicine, is against drugs, is for marijuana, will torture you forever and ever if you don't believe in him but loves you so much that he sent his only son to die for your sins which you inherited when you were born because someone thousands of years ago ate an apple which was the forbidden fruit of knowledge which he said they couldn't eat but a talking snake came along and convinced them it was okay because they had freewill but because they chose something different then what god wanted them to do then they and everyone else born forever after must pay for it and pay dearly, but he loves you

So does anyone still think that being a Pastafarian is the craziest thing ever? 

Things I Did Today

1) cooked breakfast.
2) cleaned out the fridge.
3) swept the floors. 
4) did a load of laundry. 
5) got some sand for my beach. 
6) took the dog for a walk and called her away from a porcupine. 
7) checked the Internet to see how to hang a pocket door. 
8) swept the floors.
9) yelled at the cat.
10) checked Facebook.
11) made a pot of decaf.
12) swept the floors. 
13) watered the plants.
14) wrote in my blog.
15) emptied dishwasher and refilled it.
16) cooked lupper...slunch.

Things the hubby did today.

1) went fishing.
2) put the second coat of mud on the walk in closet walls.
3) hung the bedroom door.
4) put drywall up around bedroom door.

He wins.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supermoon!

I'm all blah today.  I have no jam, or for that matter, I have no peanut butter or jelly either.  Thankfully I did do a tiny bit of writing in the morning but it was the unsatisfactory kind.  I don't believe I've even actually left the house today.  My jamlessness has a lot to do with that.  I puttered around only a tiny bit, managed to make slunch, or is that lupper?  Then I read for about five seconds before becoming incredibly sleepy and then crashed on the couch.  This is not exactly like me, especially seeing as I actually had some plans today which involved painting.  Usually after a nap I feel crap-o-rama so I don't nap.  But now I'm feeling all perky and frisky.  And not in the way you think, more in the, I should do something, perkiness.  Not painting though.  I hate painting unless I have lots of light. 

I'm trying not to get all pumped about the possibility that I will actually be able to witness some of the "supermoon" tonight.  It was supposed to be clouded over and we weren't going to see any of it but just in the last hour it has cleared up and the skies are good.  I can see the moon right now but it is still daylight so it isn't as impressive as it will be.  I was quite impressed with it last night...this morning? When I got up to pee and saw it, it was just setting on the other side of the lake.  I would have spent more time with it but I was tired and thought tonight would be better. 

So here at the Old Shoes and Tea Society when we are not busy painting weasels riding porcupines we are preparing for some moon watching.  I believe that requires moon walking, being all moony, wearing moon glasses, and drinking blue moons.  If I have any luck my camera will actually take some good pictures.  I am keeping my fingers and moon pant covered legs crossed. 

I think I will go and clean out my fridge, that should go nicely with my need for doing something useful today.  Too bad they are interviewing John Irving on CBC, I like listening to CBC while I do shit in the kitchen.  And before you get all in my face about not wanting to listen to John Irving, and my big change of attitude about him, in my defense I have to say that it is all his fault.  This winter I did a re-read of a bunch of his books and discovered that reading too much of him at once makes you not like his writing style.  I realize that guys are supposedly infatuated with their penises all the time, but please!  The latest one, Until I Find You, was crap.  Crap on a stick.  About half way through the book about Jack and his penis I finally gave up.  I know it is still kicking around here somewhere which says a lot for me and my aversion to destroying books, but I think I really should have used this one for fire starter.  In a way this made me a little sad too, I used to like Owen Meany, and Garp, and the bears, but not now.  Now I feel the same way about them as I did when I tried to go back and re-read some of the old Zane Grey books I loved as a kid...ewwwww. 

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Flora, Fauna & Old Shoes and Tea

Today was a tad bit overcast and dreary but I decided to put on a pair of my old shoes and take the dog for a walk.  I am happy to report that we did not run across any more porcupines but did keep her on a shorter (verbal) leash than usual.  I'm not sure if this is wistful thinking on my part but she did seem to be a bit more leery to dash off after critters.  Fingers crossed!

I actually took my camera out to see if I could run across anything of interest.  Here are a few items which peeked my interest.  Here is the little cabin which I have been doing some cleaning up around.  I planted a rose near it and made a nice trail to it. 

This is the approach to the cabin now. 

This rock is one of my favourites on the property, I've been thinking about what I want to do with it, for now it is au-natural. 

I'm loving the way this tree looks with the lichen growing on it.  There is something quite pleasing to the eye about it. 

This marks the edge of the back forty so I built a small inukshuk but I am looking for rocks which will make it look better.  I am still waiting for the bruise on my hip to heal from the last time I went searching for rocks. 

And finally, I was looking for wild flowers but could only find little, teeny, tiny ones which refused to photograph well, even on macro, so I took a picture of the only flower in town.  (Well at the shack.)