Beware The Visitor Bearing A Bible

Recently I have been introduced to an internet site which is filled with the creepiest, scariest, most bigoted individuals ever to be able to walk and pick their noses at the same time.  You probably guessed it, it is a religious site with discussion forum.  The range of discussion topics is like a trip through Crazy Land.  Teaching children about other points of view besides our own is dangerous.  It doesn’t matter what you do in life what matters is only if you believe in Jesus.  So you can be a mass murderer and believe in Jesus and go to heaven, or you can be a Nobel Prize winning doctor who saves millions of people that does not believe in Jesus but you are regulated to hell.  Should people who do not believe in god (you know the correct god, our god) be given credit for giving to charities?  Apparently the answer is no, because, and I quote, “people who give money to charity who do not believe in god have stolen the money because everyone knows that god is the only one who can give you money so the money donated by atheists, or people who do not believe in Jesus, is contaminated.”  See what I mean?  Batshit crazy.  The worst is that this site is where someone who is related to me…blood related…hangs out! 

Beware people because evil lives in today’s world, and it is disguised by those glassy-eyed vacuous creatures who call themselves god fearing.  

Life, The Universe, And Death

The other day I just happened to be in the same room with a guy who took that particular time to die.  I was visiting my mom in the hospital and the fellow in the bed across from her was sounding decided bad when I walked in.  I had only been there for a few minutes when his groaning and heavy breathing ceased and a nurse came in to check on him.  She left in a hurry and returned with another nurse, they called his name several times and then quickly called a Code Blue.  Now having been part of this very same type of scene several times in my paramedic days I could pretty much guess what was going on behind curtain number one.  Soon a raft of people appeared with crash cart in tow and commenced to work on him.  Through out it all my mother continued chattering away about the latest breaking stories from 1949 completely oblivious to the life and death struggle going on only eight feet from her bed. 

I could hear someone doing CPR, another person, presumably a doctor, giving orders for meds, then shortly after I heard the AED announce that "no shock was indicated", in emergency terms that either means that the person has a pulse, or they don't have one which can be helped by shocking.  Then they called the time and slowly the raft of people dwindled away.  Throughout this battle I could see the patient in the bed right next to him, he and his wife, who was visiting, sat silent and wearing that deer in the headlights look on their faces.  I am certain that it will be a story told and retold in their household for some time to come.  After all how many times in a person's life are they inches away from a drama such as this?  On the other hand when I told my mother that the guy across from her just died she was surprised that she had been so unaware of what was happening then said that she had told his son just a half hour before that they shouldn't let people go on living in that condition, and then continued on with whatever story it was that she had been telling. 

At the time I was just thinking that this incident just confirmed my theory about older folks reverting more and more to childlike behavior.  Case in point, when a person is two the world is there for them and them alone, nothing really matters except what they want, think, feel, etc. Well the same thing seems to go for seniors as well, nothing matters except what they want, think, feel, etc.  Oh I know that is a pretty broad statement, and there are many older folks who are involved, articulate, active, and vital, but there are a lot of people who just give up on the outside world and become self absorbed and oblivious.  I'm pretty sure that the reason is, is because they no longer do anything but sit around getting bored, all the interesting things which will ever happen to, or around them, have already happened so now all they have is their memories of better times, or in my mother's case, worse times.  But today as I sat thinking about this anonymous death, I realized that other than the poor traumatized couple next to this guy, no one really seemed to be all that affected, or even interested.  Death, the big equalizer of men, had visited and had been dismissed by almost everyone, even those professionals whose job it was to try and cheat him of his next victim. 

I have a theory, don't I always? I don't think that people are so hardened and calloused that they are completely unaffected by a death that occurs in such close proximity to them, I believe that it is the ultimate in denial.  We all know that eventually this ignominious death awaits us all. Most of us fear the big D more than we fear anything else, so when it slaps us where we sit a self protective mental barrier goes up so we can deal with what is happening.  Without this ability to deny and ignore I don't believe it would be possible for people to continue to function normally in our day to day lives.  Or instead of working on every day mundane jobs I think the human race would be training their best and brightest to the study of life extension. 

Certainly as a species over the years we have developed coping mechanisms to help with this problem of being sentient, religion and the promise of "happy ever after" immediately comes to mind.  Desensitization is another, how many people have you seen get killed in the movies and TV in your life?  Our lives when we finally understand that Death is waiting for us, go through the stages of denial like, "it will never happen to me," as kids, to, "I have X amount of time left before it will happen to me," as adults, "but that is a long way away."  

So whoever you were I hope you had a good life and that your legacy is that you left the world a better place in the short time you were here.  I wish that we were like Klingons so that instead of putting up our shields we could have acknowledged your passing with at least a mourning wail of tribute.  So here's to you Unknown Guy, AAAAAAArrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!  That is my Pastafarian pirate wail of passing for you.

Matter can never be destroyed, just altered, so now you have been reincarnated, your atoms will be dispersed back into the universe.  Say hi to Carl Sagan for me. 

Confessions of a Un-girlie Woman

Okay so the other day I was listening to CBC, well okay not actually listening per se, more like I had it on as background noise and occasionally tuned in when they weren't going on about the eminent destruction of the world as we know it.  Anyway I just happened to hear part of an interview where the woman said, "As like every single other little girl in the world I daydreamed about my wedding day, what my wedding dress would be like, and could hardly wait until I could be princess for a day."  Then I tuned out and went onto the next task of my day, it wasn't until a little bit later on that I actually started to think about what this woman had said.  Not that she had actually said anything I hadn't heard, or read several times in the course of my life and ignored, but for some reason this time I actually considered what she said and realized the significance of it.  I realized that I wasn't like every single other little girl in the world.  I do not ever remember once thinking about my wedding day when I was a little girl.  I do remember desperately wanting to be able to be like Tarzan and swing through the trees with the greatest of ease.  I do remember wanting a pair of jeans because I felt I was one of the only people on the planet who was denied this joy.  I also remember wanting to be able to live at the library because I thought it was the coolest place on the planet.  But I can never, not once in my entire young life ever remember even giving the slightest thought to my wedding day.  In fact I barely considered my wedding day while I was actually getting married. 

Perhaps it is because I was raised in a testosterone intensive household, perhaps it could be because I was born without a wedding gene.  The truth be told is that I was also born without the tulle gene, the frill gene, the lace gene, or the ever important hairdo gene.  When it comes to girlie I just ain't got it.  Interestingly enough this is a trait that my husband really, really appreciates in me.  In fact over the years he has mentioned several times how grateful he is that I don't feel the need to prim, frou-frou, change outfits ten times, worry whether or not my shoes match my handbag, or have a burning desire to reaffirm our wedding vows.  Blech!  Reaffirm our wedding vows, I barely made it through the first time without requiring heavy medication in the form of lots and lots of booze.

My idea of girlie is having to wear work gloves when I go cut trail or chop wood because I get blisters if I don't.  I'm also not a big fan of those persistent chin hairs that make me look like the wicked witch of the east, so I feel all girlie when I pluck those puppies out. 

I can't say that I've never experimented with girlie stuff, in fact at one point I remember applying makeup with a trowel when I hit puberty, I was 14.  But the novelty of that soon wore off and by the time I hit my twenties I was sans makeup. 

Interestingly enough this un-girlieness did not deter me from finding a great husband who loves me for who I am, having a great kid who is probably the coolest most well adjusted person I know, or having some pretty great jobs where I never felt the slightest bit of pressure to "dress for success". 

So for all of those other non makeup wearing, non high heel sporting, non wedding dress enthusiasts out there I say good on ya.  Not every little girl dreams of being a princess for the day, some actually dream of being Spock.  So live long and prosper eh.

A Quick Note

Okay I figured that even though I am using a computer the size of a small book, notebook that is, and it is as annoying as all get out because the words are tiny-er, and making them bigger just makes it more of a pain in the arse to navigate around, and....oh never mind, you know what I mean.  Sigh, I miss my big screen. 

So what have I been up to recently, well there's the whole renovating bit that seems to be going on, that is a constant in my life, kinda like 1/137, if you know what I mean.  Anyway Mr Renovator has been working his buns off and consequently the room which will hereafter be known as the master bedroom has drywall up. 

Things to celebrate - 1) good grades.  2) your team making the playoffs.  3) the Republicans losing any election.  4) winning the lottery.  5) HAVING DRYWALL UP IN THE NEW MASTER BEDROOM!

Now besides the drywall thing we have what you would call the rain thing happening, yes folks it has been raining non-stop since the last ice age.  It is wetter around here than when the big magic juju in the sky decided to kill everyone in the world by drowning them because he loved them so much.  The humidity levels haven't dropped below soaking for so long now that all four of us are starting to grow fins and gills.  And believe me the cat just isn't a big fan of the H2O.  The dog on the other hand is pretty much a seal anyway so she doesn't seem to mind. 

I did manage to spend more money in the last two weeks than the US deficit. I ordered the new hardwood flooring (in my opinion they should call it gold floor considering the cost), I had to pay for insurance on the vehicles, I also had to pay for a new fireplace insert, etc, etc, aaarrrrrgggggghhhhhh!  That is my I haven't got a job and my money is finite and with the stock market crashing I am afraid, scream.  So perhaps I will have to sing that old crappy song, how does it go?  I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go.  Sob. 

Oh and we finally made it to the last Harry Potter show, here is my review of it.  It was sorta okay I guess.  Should have waited for the DVD. 

Anyway I must go because I can no longer see, but I am holding onto the fact that soon I can use an actual computer again and perhaps even load some pictures.  Yippee. 

I Am Alive, Just Out Of Touch

Just thought I would put a quick little note here so that people will know that I am still here and haven't fallen off the face of the planet.  We are in the middle of renovating the room which holds the desk and the computer.  So that means that the computer has been moved because I'm pretty sure that it could not stand up to the extreme environment of drywall dust, sawdust, grunge dust, etc.  I have hooked up a small wireless which only seems to be working on my little notebook and not my main computer, which means I have a tiny bit of access, but only when things are not so extreme. 

So the good news is that all the windows and new sliding door has been installed in the room, the ceiling has been replaced with new drywall, some of the inside walls have been erected in the rooms, and a few other items are in the process of being changed.  I'm not sure how much longer it will take, but I suspect it will be awhile.  The cash flow is coming to an end right smartly and I am hoping that it will coincide with the completion of the project, but do not hold out much hope for that miracle to happen.  The best we can hope for at this stage is for the majority of the work to be done when the money runs out.  Sigh. 

Well I must go because I suspect that I will have to disconnect the wireless in ten minutes.  Once the main computer is back on line I will add some pictures, until then, say la vee!