Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Beatles - Get Your Masters Here

The other day I was minding my own business, baking muffins and listening to the radio when Jian Ghomeshi came on to say that he would be interviewing a woman who was the very first person in the world to complete her Master's in The Beatles.  So I continued my culinary activities waiting to hear the punchline, about fifteen minutes later the interview took place and much to my astonishment it turns out that there would not be a punchline because it was real.  I snorted in disgust and continued to listen to the conversation while getting more and more irate.  Later, because I have a tendency to question the validity of many things, even something coming from Jian, I googled the Beatles and Masters, and sure enough there were about a half dozen articles praising her distinction.  So I guess that there is now a degree even more useless than Medieval Russian Literature, Religion or Music Therapy. 

My question is, what next?  Will a person be able to get a doctorate in Britney Spears, or Justin Bieber?  Will our children and grandchildren be paying universities their hard earned money (or as in most cases, their parent's hard earned money) to learn all about how to survive on a deserted island with 20 other people, a director, a producer, a camera crew, and a support crew of  100?  Are we about to see an entire wing at Harvard turned into the Studies for Moronic Behaviour on Jersey Shore?  With the world crying for more doctors, scientists, engineers, teachers, nurses, etc, apparently the world's universities are trying to attract students with idiotic degrees like the Beatles.  The question we have to ask ourselves is, why?  Why would anyone in their right mind spend so much time and money to get such useless, idiotic degrees?  Has it really come to this?

My guess would be that people are no longer in "their right minds", this...this idiocy is what the world gets for sticking it's children in front of the big black electronic babysitter for hours on end.  We have created an entire generation of people who think that it is okay to be famous for nothing (Paris Hilton).  It is okay to spend the majority of your time lamenting about the fact that your nail polish no longer matches your crop top (pick anyone off the Bachelorette).  Or that you've only slept with five different people this week and its already Saturday (pick any insipid reality TV star) and you have to hustle your ass in order to get your quota of fucks in before Sunday night rolls around.     

I fear for the survival of our species.

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