Porky Report

It is an odd day here at Kitpu Estates.  It started out with fog so thick you could cut it with a chainsaw, then it cleared up and got all blue and sunny.  I thought it was a harbinger of dreary, wet, and dark weather.  So yippee.  And according to the weather guys this nice spell is suppose to last well into next week. 

I just saw this meme the other day - Fool me once, shame on your.  Fool me twice, shame on me.  Fool me 45,000 times, you are the weather man.  Bawhahahaha!

So I decided to sit down and finish my story for this week when suddenly my body decided that it would be a perfect time to start emptying out the dishwasher, so that was done.  Oh, and there is a hair or two, or a thousand on the floor, so I pull out the vacuum cleaner.  Whew, glad that is done.  Better start working on that story now, so of course I throw a load of laundry in, fold the load in the dryer, and then hang and put away dry clothes.  Oh man, my story certainly is coming along nicely.  Then, because I happen to be president and CEO of the Old Shoes and Tea Society, I decide to put on a pot of coffee before starting.  Which of course means it is vital that I clean the refrigerator. Then hubby walks in the house and tells me that there is a big-assed porcupine hanging out in the tree right by our place!  Gotta go have a look...you know...because it isn't like I've seen about a hundred thousand porcupines (dead and alive) since I moved here.  Where was I again?  Oh yeah, finish my story...I guess now is a good time to write in my blog. 

Oh look, there is a helicopter circling the Estates a la Kitpu...must go and gawk! 

Laying the Boots

It is a seriously beautiful day today.  Warm, sunny, and no bugs.  Did I mention warm...and sunny...and no bugs?  The cold nights are keeping them down me thinks.  I took the hell hound out for a small walk today and made her tow the line.  She had to heel for almost eight kilometers, oh the humanity.  I find with this dog, even though she is a bit of a sweet heart, she has a tendency to get all German Shepherd on me, if I am not careful.

For those of you who may not know the formula, German Shepherd = Asshat.  If you aren't careful they start to think that they rule the roost, and with a dog that size you cannot allow it, unless you happen to be okay with being ignored, and/or shepherded all over the place.  So sometimes I have to lay the boots to her ass.  And when I say "lay the boots", I mean make her heel, and if she doesn't heel then I banish her from the pack.  Which in doggy-land is wayyyyyy more traumatizing then beating them.  When I banish her from the pack she skulks behind me trying to act all cute-like and make me love her again.  I didn't let her back in to the pack until the last 300 meters, so of course she was over the moon with excitement and did the "love you long time" routine with me until we got home and someone down the lake pulled in with a dog in tow, then all bets were off.  Sigh...she is currently out of favour with the pack again.

Just finished reading, Girl Gone, by Gillian Flynn, it was a pretty good book, except I didn't care for the ending, there was a little too much super criminal going on.  I was a little concerned at first because there didn't seem to be a whole bunch going on in the middle, but the writing kept me interested enough to the end.  Not like the disaster of a book I just got through awhile ago, A Working Theory of Love, by Scott Hutchins...that was beyond awful.  I highly do not recommend that one, unless you don't mind reading a book where absolutely nothing happens. You would think that with sentient computer programs and mystery it would have interesting stuff happening in it...nope. 

And speaking of not recommending something, you probably shouldn't bother reading, The Long Earth, by Terry Prachett.  Being a Prachett fan I was really looking forward to this book...it was not good.  I also cannot recommend it.  It doesn't have the Prachett humour, and the scenario he is trying to get the reader to believe, I could not buy into it, there were too many gaps in his science to make it plausible. 

The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry, by Rachel Joyce now there is another one I do NOT recommend.  It started out good, then crashed and burned.  And when I say crashed, I mean it.  I also just finished, How to be a Woman, by Caitlan Moran just a bit ago...it was pretty good.  Funny and interesting although she did seem to be targeting a very narrow version of women, there were many times I could not relate. 

Well I didn't mean this to be book review day.  Speaking of book review I best be working on mine.  Happy warm Sunday all!

Internet Connections...

Well today looks to be the first day in forever that I actually have had internet connection for an extended period of time.  It is truly annoying when a body does not have access to the world out there.  Annoying and a bit scary.  Scary in the way that when I don't have connection I realize how much I have come to rely on instant gratification of my needs. 

How big is an acre?  I'll just Google that. 

What was John Lennon's middle name?  What is the average temperature of Antarctica, how about the Arctic?  Who wrote Of Mice and Men?  What is the name of those two lines under your nose?  What is a good recipe for potato soup?  How do you train a cat not to scratch the furniture?  Do fish have ears?  List the best movies of 2012?  What is a natural way to rid your property of ticks?  What did George Takei post on FB today?  And the list goes on. 

How does a person get through her day without that information?  My mom had three sets of encyclopedia's which she was frantically trying to pawn off on me before her final move out east, I declined, gently, then very firmly.  When weight and bulk are issues for transporting stuff across thousands of kilometers, who exactly needs another thousand pounds.  Also, call me lazy, but I was not interested in packing the books from her place to my place, from my place all the way across the country, then from the cargo trailer into the basement where they would sit, unopened for the coming millennium.  I've considered those encyclopedias once or twice but then realized that the information held between their pages were probably outdated by the time they hit the shelves.  (Perhaps the history wasn't, but even history is always being revised.)

Although I do feel out of sorts when not connected to the information super-highway I do think I have become too reliant on it.  I just have to consider that when the Zombie Apocalypse happens all of it will be gone with the flick of a switch and the shuffling of undead feet. 

Cold!

Yup, it is cold.  The temperatures around here have been going up and down like Bertha's pants at a picnic.  It was sunny yesterday, sunny and warm, so we took the Poop Brigade for a walk in the back forty before going for a longer walk.  The shortest brigade member was by and far the whiniest and not really into the extended walk.  By the time we made it back to the stroller he was more then ready to get in and crash.  The tallest (by a hair) also did not complain too much upon being confined to the relative comfort of that pushing contraption afterwards and spent close to five kilometers occupying herself before beginning to complain.  When we returned the temperature dropped quickly and we were finally forced to leave the out-of-doors and return to the passive solar heated abode that lies on Kitpu Estates. The Poop Brigade engaged the sirens, and could be heard kilometers away, as we dragged them into the house.  Although their antics are a bit of a pain in the ass when trying to get them into the house I think it bodes well for the day where they can both be trusted to hang around outside on their own.  (Fingers crossed...:)

Although the walk was successful today, it was not so much the day before.  Five minutes into that walk we ended up with one broken German Shepherd who had to be rushed to after hours emergency.  X-rays, painkillers, and an overnight stay = $500.00 in vet bills, and one dog with a torn ACL.  Surgery awaits sometime next week, then a minimum of an 8 week recovery period.  Sigh.  So we spent the day keeping my dog, Houndicus Jumpicus, away from, Houndicus Ouchicus, so they wouldn't try running around and causing even more damage to the broken one. 

Speaking of dogs, with that one warm day the local tick population has become active, so we have officially pulled 13 ticks off the dog.  Last year the count totaled 342, being only two days into the season she may give that record a run for its money.  Frak!  I hate ticks.  I get all heebie-jeebie about them and the girl comes out in me.  The same goes for leaches...ick. 

Heat!

Wow!  Here be dragons, or at least the heat generated by them.  The temperature has gone from plus 14 to plus 30 in one fell swoop.  I was literally sweating up a storm...outside!  And I wasn't even splitting, stacking, or hauling firewood.  The weather guys were predicting rain all day today and tomorrow, then Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday it is supposed to get all hot and sunny.  I think they missed by a few days.  It is hot and sunny now. 

Hubby is trapping minnows these days, shiners, mini trout, and icky eels.  It's weird that I have zero interest in the whole fishing thing these days.  As a kid I was all about dangling a hook in the water to try and entice one of the scaly things to it, but now I am all - meh - about it.  Perhaps once I start taking a few laps around the lake in the boat (ala motor) I will once again be interested in the process...perhaps. 

I received the magazine which I have another story coming out in this afternoon.  This one is a children's story.  Even though it probably isn't a big deal to anyone else in the world, to me, it's still cool to see my name in print.  

Pets aR'nt Us

I need someone to explain to me why exactly it is that I seem to require a German Shepherd in my life?  I mean really, what good are they?  They eat you out of house and home then fill your yard with all kinds of surprises.  When you finish vacuuming and washing your floors they immediately have to wander around with muddy feet and drooly toilet water.  They have uncontrollable urges to sniff every part of your pant leg as soon as you get dressed in the morning, walk back into the room, load the washing machine, or water your plants.  If there is a mud puddle anywhere within a ten kilometer radius they have to jump in and drink the water no matter how green/brown/purple or disgusting it is.  They also feel it is very, very important to pace, and pace, and pace until the hardwood floors are worn in a nice pattern. 

Yes I know I used to wax poetic about taking them for runs, or taking them for walks, but really I could also take a gold fish for a walk and it wouldn't be anywhere near as annoying.  For one thing a gold fish would be a lot more discerning about that type of water it wanted to throw itself in.  For another, I'm certain they wouldn't chase porcupines and skunks.  They also wouldn't make me put a leash on them and yell "heal" at the every five feet.  And don't even get me started about the dog hair intensive household I live in.  OCD and dog hair is NOT a good combination!

And then there is the cat.  Really what use are cats?  Mine is a fanatic about helping me make the bed.  Again, OCD + cat helping to make the bed = not a good combination.  Granted I am new to the whole cat in the house scenario so I am still getting used to having someone hide under the bed then jump out and attack my feet as I make the bed.  Or act like she is starving to death when I am cutting up olives.  Or no matter where she is, when I open a tub of yogurt she charges into the room then rubs herself against me so hard that my hair stands straight up into the air and I end up getting stuck to the wall because of all the static.  Then once she gets the yogurt she acts like I am something which accidentally got stuck to her fur in the litter box.  (Don't even get me started about having to keep a box for poop in the house!) 

Sigh....maybe I should put them up for adoption and go out and get myself one of them thar gold fishes. 

Critiques and Dog Poop

My day today was filled with critiquing and dog poop.  I know everyone is now asking how your days could become as exciting as that, but to tell the truth not everyone can be as lucky.  I took the hell hound out for a walk down to the bridge this afternoon and when she wasn't engaged in leaving her own brand of fertilizer up and down the side of the road, she was busy snorking up other wonderful aromas, that because of all the snow being gone, are now free to waft through the air.  Although I'm pretty sure that most of the piles are not in fact dog poop, they are more like porcupine, raccoon, and possibly coyote droppings.  Ah the glorious scents of spring time!  Although animal shite isn't exactly the creme de la creme of my day, I would so much rather she tangled with a pile then an actual porky.  So woo-hoo. 

Then when I got home and had lunch, soup and tuna sandwiches (and three rather small and pathetic speckled trout provided by the Hubby) then I threw in a load of laundry and sat down to do some critiquing.  And because it wasn't poetry it was wonderful, and easy, and not filled with tension and pressure.  So yay me!  I am soooooooooo not a poet. 

Kitpu Goings On

Me: So why did you keep a couple of minnows, are you going to use them for bait?

Hubby: These aren't minnows, they're fish.  I'm going to fry them up for lunch.

Me: I think that flu may have effected you more than you realize.

Hubby:  Smart ass, I think I'll go pile some wood now.    

Speaking of not being a poet I had better quit sitting here and telling tales from the Old Shoes and Tea Society, and start working on a story for submission. 

Hubby Update

The Hubby tells me that I have to update my blog because without it he doesn't know what goes on at Kitpu Estates...funny guy.  Its pretty easy to keep up on the goings on at Kitpu when you live here, plus the fact that pretty much sweet tweet has been happening since we have been down for the count for the past month. 

The good news on the "not much" front, or the "sweet tweet" front, is that all of the ice is officially gone from the lake.  So yippee to that.  Also more good news is that pretty much all trace of snow is gone as well.  Although there are some tiny piles in the shadows lands of the back forty, but nothing to make it bad to walk in.  And the crazy good news is that the ground seems to be thawing out without a whole shit pile of mud and sludge on the road, that means I do not have to use the 4x4 to get in and out of the property this year. 

Today is day seventeen of the Flu That Was Like Death, still have some slight remains of symptoms like a bit of a cough, and slightly sluggish on walks, but at least we are back to the land of the living.  It was so bad for awhile there that even my internal organs were sore every time I coughed.  That can't be good can it?  I am very much looking forward to going back to a rather healthier lifestyle. 

Yesterday the windows for the Wookie Cave showed up!  How cool is that?  Soon I will have my own studio, with my own writing space, and my own painting space.  Hopefully it will feel like my office at work.  For some reason every morning at around 6:30am I used to get this uncontrollable urge to write, write, write. (Well actually it was controllable seeing as I kind of wanted to keep getting that pay cheque thingie.) I am hoping that the same urges will happen once the Wookie Cave is up and running.  (Although the 6:30 thing may have to be put off until perhaps 7:30, or even 8:30 seeing as I no longer am getting that pay cheque thingie and thus feel no real need to get up at 4:30 in the morning.)  Of course the last couple of years, during the summer months, I have enjoyed getting up early in the morning and watching the sun come up with a steaming cup o Joe in hand.  Anyway I do hope to go great guns on my book once ensconced in my new studio and get it finished, and perhaps even sent out for publishing before the end of the year.  Now that would be a great big huge tick on my Bucket List.