Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Baby Jesus Killed Christmas

I don't know the conversation that took place before I arrived on the scene but what I heard between a mother and her very small child after I arrived in the aisle next to them left me feeling rage. 

Mother: "If your not good we are going to leave this store right away."

Child: "But mommy I want Elmo."

Mother: "I"m not buying you Elmo."

Child: "But mommy Jenny (Jimmy?) has one and Elmo is fun."

Mother: "How many times do I have to tell you that Elmo is not a toy we want in our house."

Child: (Big pouty lips and crossed arms)  "I'm gonna ask Santa for him."

Mother: "You know that the Baby Jesus spoke to Santa and told him that he was not allowed to bring little children Elmo."  (They move away still arguing.)

WTF?  Really?  So is Elmo like an evil toy now?  Is he corrupting all the children with his giggles and tickles?  Now don't get me wrong, personally I think that Elmo is pretty annoying, and his voice just bugs the shit out of me, but I'm not five.  I can see where a five year old might still like him.  And since when does the Baby Jesus have to intervene with Santa in the toy department?  Is it me or are people batshit crazy? 

Obviously some parents these days give no thought as to the stupid assed shit that spews out of their mouths.  I am a big proponent of telling kids "no" if you don't want them to have something.  If they are old enough you can tell them "no and why".  However I am not a big fan of telling kids "no because a fictitious deity has told a thinly disguised fictitious deity that what you want is off limits."  Do people not understand that little children are like sponges?

This kind of unthinking, crazy reasoning just opens the world up to more insanity.  The next thing you know people will be coming up with random rules around "no."

Like "no you can't wear makeup, and have a boyfriend, and if you do I have every right to drown you and your sisters and mother in a canal."  Or.

"No you are not allowed to learn to read and write because you are a woman, and if you do I have every right to beat, blind, maim, or kill you."

"No you cannot quit being an alter boy, no priest would do that to you, you are lying."

Oh just wait...


  1. Welcome to Earth circa 2011...during the era of increasingly psychotic douchebags whose grip on reality was both fleeting and in a time long past. Parenting is becoming a lost art.