Saturday, September 8, 2012

Easing Into The Day

I am sweating just sitting here typing and not because typing happens to be strenuous, and not because it is a sweltering hot day, it is only 20 degrees outside, and not because I just ran a marathon and immediately plunked myself down and started typing.  The sucky reason is because the humidity is in the 90's...I hate that.  Most especially because yesterday was so nice and NOT humid.  I was thinking that I could get used to that kind of weather.  You know, the kind that isn't humid, hot, or bug filled.  Not many days are that great.  So here I sit and sweat.  Sigh. 

I haven't got any real big plans for today, some light house cleaning, laundry, and possibly cooking something edible which isn't going to be seriously bad for me.  I've already made the bed with the help of the cat Karson, who by the way isn't a help and is a total asswad when it comes to the bed making process, then I put a load of laundry into the washer, and then I applied for a job on line. 
 
I'm really starting to get the hang of the whole "resume altering to suit specific jobs" routine, but am having difficulties with the interview processes.  The problem is that I keep coming across as overly qualified for the position.  One guy told me that he was reluctant to consider me because I used words like "cognizant" and "attributable" during the interview and he felt that I may intimidate the other workers by the way I speak.  What a big load of horse puckies that is!  I am the least intimidating person I know.  In fact I have no problem saying things like "youse guys" and "a-usetavit" when the occasion arises.  Okay so maybe I would be very reluctant to say "a-usetavit" because that just picks my ass when people say that and makes me question the validity of the education system they obviously skipped out on in their youth.  And well "youse guys" would be pretty hard to spit out without throwing up a little bit.  But I sure as hell wouldn't have an issue saying, "get off your lazy arses and start doing your job or I will personally remove you spleen through your nasal cavity."  Not that I would say that during an interview. I might say something like, "If I noticed fellow employees perhaps not working to the best of their abilities I may gently remind them that someone is paying them to perform to a certain standard, and if they did not go back to work forthwith it would become much more difficult for them to finish their shift with an additional masticated anal passage.”  Then I would smile a sweet, sweet smile and bat my baby browns at the interviewer, organize his folder, correct his notes, and tell him to sit up straight and quit trembling.  All that fake trembly fear crap which people feel is required around me just makes me want to put my hands around their throats and squeeze until their eyes bug out.  (I joke. It's been months since I've done that.)
 
So get this...an amazing event has occurred!  The kidlet called and said she was going to come over so we could go for a long walk.  How cool is that?  This whole living close to each other thing is just about as sweet as the blueberry pie that we ate at the White Spot when we were dropping her off at university those many years ago. And what is even cooler is the fact that we can do this kind of thing whenever our little hearts desire.
 
Well my washing machine is playing me a little tune telling me that the load of laundry is now done and should go into the dryer because if I hung it on the line it would in fact get wetter than it is now.  So I had better go before, me and it, has words.  Words which perhaps I will not write here unless of course it tells me that I had better get a-usetavit. 
 
 
 
 
 
 

2 comments:

  1. Zilla's Other HalfSeptember 9, 2012 at 12:14 PM

    I would venture to say, for those who are subject to such fears, that your intimidation factor is only about 10% the vocabulary you use. A good 90% of it is the "I don't give a %$*! factor, which comes from the being retired. You aren't desperate, you are confident (at least you radiate it even if you don't feel it) and it is not the snivelling smell of desperation that interviewers are normally accustomed to.

    This, of course, doesn't mean change, cause you likely can't anyway, but it does mean keep looking - if'n yur wantin' that extra doughnaros an' all.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I won't kid you the extra doughnaros would help, but my main motivation now that my life will be returning to somewhat less strained is to get myself out of Kitpu Estates every once in awhile. So I may not be able to change my 'tude, but I may have to reign it in a bit. Maybe I'll sign up for acting lessons.

      Delete