Sunday, March 18, 2012

Anonymous Old Shoes and Rats

Ha those sneaky bastard weather gods are trying to screw with my head.  (Please note, if I was a lot less of a genteel person I would have written "fuck with my head" but due to my cultured sophistication I won’t.  Whoops I think I just did.  Please excuse Craig Ferguson's French.)  What was I saying?  Oh yes, this morning I woke to bright blue skies, sun peeking up over the horizon, and birds chirping away.  Of course because I had been lulled into a sense of wonderment by yesterday’s weather I assumed that it was going to remain like that for the rest of the day.  What is that they say about assuming?  Something about arseholes and bastards?  (Oh man do I ever have potty mouth today.)  And I had actually checked the weather channel a couple of days ago and it had called for great weather all week, and I believed it.  Someone once said that if you keep doing the same thing over and over again but expect a different outcome you are technically insane?  Well that would be me.  Why?  Why do I believe the weather wizards?  I must have smoked too much pot in the seventies, or was that being hit over the head by too many pots in the seventies?  I can never remember. 

So, as you may have deduced from my ranting, the day did not continue to be sunny and warm, it kind of clouded over, then it got sunny, then it clouded over, then it got sunny, and so on.  Meaning that the wind has picked up and is blowing clouds in and out, and I know that I shouldn’t bitch because it’s still a pretty kick ass day, but I just kind of feel like I want to be all pouty. 

Meeting Minutes for the Old Shoes and Tea Club – March 18, 2012

Me: Now that the Old Shoes and Tea Club is a well-established, highly structured, solid organization, I am tabling a motion for a name change.  I propose that we change the name from the Old Shoes and Tea Club to the Old Shoes and Tea Society.  Mainly because the word society will give the organization more of a classy feel.  Who will second the motion?  Karson?

Karson: (Half opens her eyes when she hears her name called then goes back to sleep.)

Me: Due to the unanimous approval of all members present the motion has passed.  The Old Shoes and Tea Club will now and forever, or until I change my mind again, be known as the Old Shoes and Tea Society.   

Karson: Yawn.

Me: I also want to table a motion to change the badger on our crest to a weasel.  On the grounds that weasel sounds funnier than badger, most especially now that I no longer have to read contracts looking for weasel words which takes the fun right out of the word weasel.  All in favour?

Karson: (Chest rises and falls indicating that she is still alive.)

Me: Motion passed. 

Hubby:  (From the doorway) So are we going for a walk or what?

Meeting adjourned. 

It kind of is amazing how quickly the ground seems to be drying up, yesterday when we went for our walk things were still pretty dampish.  So damp in fact that if you put your foot in the wrong place you would wind up with a Keene-full.  Unless you were the hubby because he was wearing his Wellies and could walk through some pretty seriously deep puddles without danger of over flow.  But today I only had to be slightly alert for puddles, and then only in a few spots. 

As usual the hell hound scared up a few partridge, some brownish-red kind of bird which neither of us knows the name for, and a couple of squirrels, or tree rats, as the hubby calls them.  She was pretty proud of her hunting prowess, the rest of the society less so. 

This was our conversation on our walk. 

Me: I think I’m going to apply for our society to become a religion so we can accept tax free donations.

Hubby: Did you notice how that gravel I put into fill that hole is now a hump?  It used to be flat now it isn’t.  Weird.

Me: Have I mentioned how much I love it back here?

Hubby: Only every single time we have ever walked back here together.  In fact, I’m pretty sure you still tell me that even when I’m not with you. 

Me: Kit, come here.  Come here right now.  Is that the dog, or is it a walking mud pile shaped like a dog?

Hubby: I’m going to chop all that pine into kindling for this winter.

Me: I think I got a boot full. 

I decided to cut my sojourn outside a little short because I wanted to catch Stuart McLean on the Vinyl Café as it started so I let “You Know Who” throw the stick into the lake in order to wash the dog off and scooted into the house.  Oh that Dave, he is such a card.  I don’t know how Morley puts up with him.  While listening I also decided to make some lunch, a mixed salad, left over stir fry, quinoa, and fried haddock.  At least I think it was haddock.  As I write this  I am in the process of trying out a carrot cake recipe which is made without using flour, well wheat flour.  I am trying coconut flour and ground flaxseed; so far it is smelling quite yummy.  Too bad I forgot to put the baking powder into the mix.   

Last night we finished watching the first season of the Game of Thrones, and I have to tell you that I actually ended up liking it, which is a bit strange because I wasn’t too taken with the book, and each episode was pretty consistent with the original storyline.  The good thing about it is that I will have something to look forward to for viewing entertainment in the future; I hear tell that the second season starts in April.  But I don’t think I will bother with reading the second book, or the third, or the fourth, or the hundredth.  I don’t remember how many there are but I know that I’m not going to bother with them.  Which in retrospect is a bit strange because I usually like those kinds of books; maybe it’s because of the whole never ending winter thing, or creepy zombie stuff, but on this one I will wait for the shows. 

I also hear tell that the, Hunger Games, is being released as a movie and that people are all gaga over it.  Again, it was a book which I wasn’t really all that taken with.  Definitely not enough to actually read the next two or three books, maybe it’s because a) I am no longer a teenager, and b) I loath reality TV shows, even pretend ones where they make kids kill each other.  But maybe as a movie it will have some redeeming qualities?  One can only hope. 

Anyway I think my carrot cake is done so I am off to make some cream cheese icing for it.  And just as a reminder the Old Shoes and Tea Society is now accepting all donations.  For an added bonus, and for a limited time period, for every hundred dollars you donate the OS&TS will send you a choice of either a picture doodled specifically for you on our official letterhead, or dog hair, pleasingly glued to some old newspaper.  Either way, you have to admit it’s a super deal. 


  1. Oh Iron Bess, your blog posts never cease to make me smile. It must be such a great experience to take a look at something and see the funny in a mundane situation. I am not so quick of wit to write the way you do but I certainly appreciate it.

    1. Sometimes the hubby asks me if it is scary living in my head. Not so much, I tell him, most especially when I colour coordinate the world to match my socks.

      I'm glad someone appreciates it.