Sunday, March 11, 2012

Daylight Savings and the Old Shoes and Tea Club

Currently I am not employed outside the house so the whole "Spring Ahead" fiasco will probably not affect me like it used to.  Back when I had to haul my sorry carcass out of bed at 4:30am every day and drive to work I used to rejoice when I finally got to see the sun during my drive.  No feeling is greater than being able to see where you are going, most especially when one has to drive through herds of elk and deer to get to work.  And no, I am not exaggerating, I used to live in the Elk Valley and there is a reason they call it that, there are literally thousands of elk wandering around chewing their cud while waiting for a chance to leap out in front of oncoming traffic.  But I digress.  
Just as it was hitting a week where it would already be getting light before I left the house, which consequently meant that an hour later as I would be pulling into work it would be wonderful, fantastic daylight, the Time Nazis would pull the happy rug out from underneath me and make us change the time.  Then the days would seem to drag on for eternity as I was waiting for the sun to catch up to us while I was back to driving in pitch black all the way up the mountain.  Let me tell you, I was not a happy camper, nor a happy purchasing agent for that matter.  And you would think that an hour difference wouldn't do much to your sleep patterns, but when you have to go to bed at 8:30 just so you could somehow get eight hours in before doing it all over again, it does.  
I hated the spring time-change, almost as much as I hated the fall time-change.  Fall was when the sun went bye-bye for a long time.  I would usually leave work between 5:30 or 6:00pm and typically by the time I got to the front gate it would be dark.  Did I mention that I hate time change?  My husband thinks the reason I hate it so much is that I grew up in a small town which sat right on the boundary of time change which meant that we didn't bother with the whole idea.  You just had to remember that sometimes you were the same time as the town west of you, and sometimes with the city east of you.  Believe me that isn't why I hate it, I just think it is a vestigial left over idea from the days of yore.  It’s like the monkey cage and the banana.  
(For those of you who haven't heard the story.)  There was a monkey cage where they had a set of stairs in the middle of the room, at the top of the stairs there was a rope where the evil scientists would dangle a banana.  Every time a monkey would go up the stairs and grab a banana the evil scientists would take a fire hose and spray all the monkeys in the cage.  Then when they introduced a new monkey into the cage and dangle a banana at the top of the stairs the other monkeys would clobber the new guy when he tried going for the banana, even after the evil scientists were replaced by the good scientists and the fire hose was taken away.  See my point?  Exactly like time change.  
Here at the Old Shoes and Tea Club (OS&TC) we have passed a resolution wherein we will make it our mission to get rid of springing back or forth by designing T-shirts that say "Cut off the vestigial tail of Time-Change", that'll show those evil Time Nazis.  
Well I'd better go, the hubby wants me to go out to the back forty where he is going to show me how to cut down trees with a diameter of more than two inches.  It has something to do with dozers.  
This morning during an OS&TC meeting:
Hubby - When you’re ready let's go out to the poplar grove and drop a couple of trees which the wind cracked.  
Me - Okay, let me finish this first. 
Hubby - How big are the trees which you feel comfortable cutting with the chainsaw. 
Me - Well whatever the bar will go through.  I've bucked up lots.
Hubby - No I mean standing trees.  I want to show you how to cut down trees without getting hurt, you have to be careful cause if the big ones kick back you could get hurt.  Or even the small ones.  It is just like when you run a dozer, it doesn't matter how big the trees are they can all kill you.  
Me - (Looking mystified) Okay I'll try to remember that the next time I run a dozer. (My dozer running experience consists of moving a D11 approximately four feet around 15 years ago.  As far as I could tell there weren't any killer trees around and I managed to survive the experience.)


  1. Chainsaw work, sleep deprived, kevlar chaps at least, and head/eye/ear protector as part of that standard uniform for this little job, really? It's not all that easy. Yes, those trees can kill you but it can be lots of fun. Better than a rollercoaster at least. I don't throw up cutting down smallish trees.

  2. You sound like a girl after my own heart.