Saturday, March 10, 2012
The Old Shoes and Tea Club
Congratulations, just from reading this post you are now officially a member of the Old Shoes and Tea Club. It is a wonderful club it consists of people who have old shoes and drink tea, have drunk tea, or know what tea is, and can answer a skill testing question.
Ques: How many pairs of old shoes make a gross? (Be careful this isn't a trick question.)
This morning was SUNNY, warm, and beautiful. It is one of those days when you go for a walk and your feet crunch through last year’s leaves while you pick up branches blown onto the trail from the hurricane force winds of the day before. That activity is so exciting because it means there is no snow on the ground. You spend your time trundling gracefully through the bush, scaring up bunnies and partridge, and glorying in the warmth of the sun on your face. Yep, almost heaven West Virginia...lalala.
So hubby and I went for a walk this morning and had this conversation.
Me - Have I ever mentioned how much I love it back here?
Hubby - Only about fifty thousand times since we moved here.
Me - Hmmm, fifty thousand? That doesn't seem like enough times.
Hubby - Sigh.
Me - I have to pee.
Hubby - Really? I'm shocked. It's not like you don't have to pee every single time we go for a walk.
Me - Well it's easy for you to get all Mr. Look At Me I Can Just Whip It Out Anywhere.
Hubby - What does that have to do with you always having to pee?
Me - Nothing, it’s just easier to go on the defensive at the start of an argument.
Hubby - Oh, I didn't realize we were arguing.
Me – We’re not, I just thought I would get a jump on it. So what do you have planned for today?
Hubby - I think I'll come out here while the ground is frozen and cut up the rest of those trees. What are you going to do?
Me - Oh that sounds like fun, I'll come and help. We should form a club.
Hubby - Hunh? A club? What kind of club.
Me - You know a club. We'll have a name like the Kitpu Secret Society of Gypsies. Or The Garden of Edam and Baloney. Or how about Crunchy leaves and Brownies?
Hubby - What are you like five now?
Me - Hey watch it, if you aren't careful I will kick you out of the, Old Shoes and Tea, club. Our motto is, if you have old shoes come over and have some brownies.
Hubby - Brownies? What about tea?
Me - No thanks, I have to pee.
So voila, the new club was formed. Our shield is a badger wearing an ascot on a field of green. The secret handshake can only be performed after you use a chainsaw for a half hour and you get that tingly feeling in your hands. Our mascot is a milkmaid wearing old shoes and riding a badger. The secret password is Hammerhead Shark. You have to come to the meetings wearing your painting clothes and ready to discuss the finer points of string theory, quantum physics and the ten dimensions it comes with. The mandatory beverage is coffee. (Soooo much better than tea.)
Answer: One pair of course.